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  • Dan Rattiner

Coronavirus Rumors


The right wing nut case media is reporting that the Coronavirus was originally made in a bioweapon lab in Hunan, China but somehow got loose. There is such a lab in Hunan. Must have happened that way.


Actually, there’s a different story. Ever notice that nobody in Russia has the corona virus? Why is that? Fact is, the virus was made in a bioweapons lab, not in China, but in Vladivostok, Russia and it quickly accidentally got loose there. But Russia had developed an antidote for this virus ahead of time. Potato Vodka. It quickly stamped it out.


Putin shared this bioweapon with his fellow dictator in China and the virus busted out there too. But Putin held back on the antidote until China agreed to buy vodka from Russia at wildly inflated prices. Now the two dictators intend to never reveal the antidote, so they can rule the world. Trouble is to do it, everybody in both countries has to stay drunk all the time. This will not go well.


I heard this from a friend I know on another planet.


--Dan Rattiner

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